WHY ARE THE FAT STILL RIDICULED TODAY?
Months ago, I cannot remember when exactly, the Lord put it on my heart that making fun of fat people was just about the only thing left that was still accepted in our society. Making fun of ANYONE that is different than yourself is ungodly and wrong. I think everyone knows that. But certain things that were once widely accepted are now taboo in today’s society. No longer can you make fun of gays, people of color, the handicapped, etc. (And why would you want to?!) Even those with addictions to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, work are on the taboo list. So you say you’re an addict? No problem! The medical community now says it’s “not your fault” because those are “diseases.” BUT wait a second! If you say you’re addicted to food? Well, screw you for eating too much and not exercising! Ya, that’s it in a nutshell. But the bigger question is WHY? FAT-BASHING or FAT-SHAMING are still okay? HOW IS THAT SO?
Many years ago, I worked for a company that employed Psychiatric doctors and nurses. After that, I worked in a non-profit center that helped people with mental illnesses. Needless to say, I learned a lot about Psychiatry and people needing the help of Psychiatrists because I had to read patient charts all day. I quickly learned that addiction is a coping mechanism for stress. Sometimes it’s referred to as “self-medicating.” When something traumatic happens to a person, it causes an immense amount of stress on the human mind and body. If you are not able to get past or overcome that stress, then the person will do whatever it takes to alleviate the stress and make themselves feel better. This where alcohol, drugs, etc. come in. An addiction comes about from something that “feels good” and the person repeats the behavior every time they feel stress. If the stress is on-going in their lives, the person’s need to self-medicate can become a full-blown addiction. I learned that if or until the person overcomes the stress, it is nearly impossible to break the addiction. This is why therapy is often needed. Because often a person won’t even know WHY they are addicted. Once they “face their demons” so to speak, the addiction can be broken easier. Case in point: Tom Arnold. He came out years ago and said that during the time he was addicted to drugs and alcohol, he didn’t really know why. It was during therapy that he started to remember the sexual abuse he suffered as a child. He has also been overweight. Is it too much of a stretch to think that food was also part of his addiction? And if you accept that, then making fun of him being fat would, in fact, be making fun of his sexual abuse.
Okay, so the reason I wrote this article is because I have fought being overweight all my life. As I am writing this, I am fat. I have spent probably 20 years of my life actively ON a diet. Trust me when I say that it is a horrible way to live, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. I was of normal weight until puberty, age 11 or 12. That was also the same time in my life I started Junior High School, and the bullying began in my life. I didn’t find out until I was 40 years old that I had Asperger’s Syndrome, so during this time I was “weird” to the other kids and didn’t have many friends. I was also verbally bullied at home by my mother and then by my little sister who just copied my mother’s language and behavior. The doctors told my mother that there was nothing wrong me and that I just had an attitude problem (they didn’t know about Asperger’s back then.) My mother sticks by that story to this day. It’s her go-to excuse explanation as to why she treated me so bad. The doctor’s said it was okay. A few years ago she even said to my face, “you made me treat you that way.” Yup she was the victim, not me. I was quite literally shocked when she said that. She immediately played “victim” as if I did something to her. I was 42 years old and didn’t think she could hurt me anymore and yet, she still found something to say that crushed my soul. And I cried like a baby that day. Her inability to admit what she did, own up to it and apologize to me, which is all I wanted, was heart-wrenching and the reason why I cannot have a relationship with her ever again. That is the very last day I ever spoke to my mother. She and my sister treated me terrible but only outsiders saw it. Other family members were so used to it, they thought it was “normal”. A friend of mine once saw my sister and I talking and after my sister left she said, “why does she treat you so mean?” My eyes immediately welled up with tears and I said, “you saw that?! No one has ever seen that before.” It was the defining moment when I realized I was not crazy… I was not the bad guy. The awful truth is that my mother and sister do not like me, treat me like garbage, and they blame me for it. Is it any wonder, then, why I have self-medicated with food all my life?
It’s no surprise that growing up, we didn’t have any Christianity in our home. We celebrated Christmas and Easter, and my family told people that we were Christian. But we were NOT Christians. My mother lied to make herself look good. She hated God and even frowned upon us going to church with friends. It’s no wonder that she found Catholicism when I was a teen. Catholicism fits her own screwed up view of Christianity. She had all these books she read about the saints and about Catholicism in general, yet I never saw her reading an actual Bible. But I digress… It was during all this strife at school AND at home, that I self-medicated with food. My mother was also overweight so we had lots of sweets in the house, and we had the run of the kitchen. We ate whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. And when the kitchen was bare because it was almost grocery shopping day, I remember eating uncooked pasta out of the box and eating uncooked corn meal out of the bag. That certainly sounds like an addiction to me! Then, I lost 60 pounds during the summer between 10th and 11th grade. That was my very first diet. I have been gaining and losing weight ever since. There was a point during my 20s that I was normal weight but I drank alcohol…. a lot of it. Ya, I was substituting alcohol for food. And when I stopped drinking? You guessed it…I gained weight again.
Matthew 6:15 KJV – But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Now, I didn’t start out to make this a bash-my-mom blog. I have told the Lord that I FORGIVE my mother and sister. I even told the Lord I forgave my father for going along with them and not sticking up for me. I gave up carrying around the baggage of the hatred I felt for them. I FORGAVE. But the words “forgive and forget” and NOT IN THE BIBLE. Forgetting what someone did to you and forgiving are very different. I cannot forget because neither of them have admitted what they did nor apologized for it. I HAVE to forgive them… FOR MYSELF. But I cannot forget and move past it because they would still continue to treat me the same as they always have. Each time in my life when I have “let it go”, I “forgot” and went on as if nothing happened, and it resulted in me being treated horrible again. My spirit just can’t take it anymore.
Getting back to the topic at hand; WHY then is it still okay to be mean to fat people? WHY do I still see troll-posts on Facebook telling a fat girl she is “unhealthy”, “obese”, “UGLY?” WHY? WHY are life-long skinny people telling fat people to do….anything? A life-long skinny person couldn’t possibly understand the challenges we face… what we go through. Would those same people just tell a drug addict to stop taking drugs! “Oh it’s so simple… just stop taking drugs!” “Oh it’s so simple… just stop eating bon-bons and go exercise!” Wow! I should just STOP because it’s soooooo easy! Why didn’t I think of that?! And some of the same people addicted to alcohol, shopping, gambling, etc. are telling fat people to STOP. The hypocrisy is never-ending.
John 13:34-35 KJV- “ A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
In retrospect, I see that if my family had simply had JESUS in our home, my childhood would have been much happier. My mother would have been understanding, caring, loving and in turn, my sister would have learned that from her. We would have been a loving family. JESUS really IS the answer for everything.
If you judge others, without knowing everything they have been through, and I mean EVERYTHING, then you are WRONG. That is why the Bible says not to judge others.
Luke 6:37 – “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
1 Corinthians 4:5 NIV – “Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.”
PERSONAL UPDATE, AND THIS ISSUE OF GAYS AND HOMOSEXUALITY…
Well, here we are at the end of the year 2013 and I haven’t written a blog in ages. My husband and I have been spending most of this year building a new business. That alone has kept us busier than I ever would have imagined. Then in August, we rescued this cat that the neighbors abandoned when they moved.
Then a month later took in yet another cat and 6 kittens that were abandoned when a different family moved and left her. (What is with people moving and leaving animals behind to fend for themselves!?)
We gave away four kittens and have kept two ourselves. This was mainly due to the fact that they were sick and all of us got really attached to them since they were here with us the longest. They had caught a bug (like a cold or flu) and then we found that the reason they were so sick was that on top of the cold they also had tapeworms and Coccidia. I don’t think I’ve ever washed my hands and bleach-cleaned litter boxes so often as I had to with the Coccidia.
Was a very rough time for me, to say the least. So we went from having one cat to now having five cats in our home, and I think I went nearly 3 solid months of getting only 5-6 hours of sleep per night. There is so much more to the story than that (and that doesn’t count the stray outside cat we are feeding but not bringing into the house.) But suffice it to say, that the last four months of 2013 have seen an increase in the amount of work we do, on top of our business, caring for these precious animals.
And now the Lord has put it on my heart to speak about something that I have touched on before but not gone into that much detail. This is specifically about something that’s been in the news recently and that is the issue of gays and homosexuality and how the Christian community is treating them.
Let me begin by laying the foundation for the blog. And that is, no matter what group of people you identify with, or what type of business you are in, there are other similar groups or similar businesses that do not agree with you. This is a hard one to put into words but as a (lame) example, think of homeless shelters or Baptist churches or any type of specific company or specific type of group of people. They all have something in common but they will also have things that are unique to them. And that uniqueness is where conflict occurs. One homeless shelter might be doing something that other shelters don’t agree with, and one Baptist church might be teaching something that other Baptist churches don’t agree with. This can even be applied to banks, retail stores, restaurants, etc. And getting to the point… all Christians are not the same even though we are (or should be) reading from the same book… The Bible.
As a born-again Christian who has accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord AND Savior, I know that Jesus died for ALL of us. There is no longer an ‘angry’ God because Jesus paid for our sins and God’s anger toward us was removed. Even if I choose to sin right now, that doesn’t make God angry at me. He *might* be disappointed, but not angry. If I choose to become gay and begin having sex with a woman, He would also not be angry with me. And let me be clear here… II do not believe in homosexuality because it IS a sin.
As a Christian, that Bible passage couldn’t be any clearer that homosexuality is a sin. And that is why I don’t believe in allowing gay marriage, and I don’t believe in gay relationships. Does that mean that I hate gay people? Nope. Not at all. But I will not condone what they do by acting ‘tolerant’ as current politically-correct society would have us do. Will I treat them like I do everyone else? Absolutely. Will I try to minister to them if an opportunity arises? You bet I will. I put homosexuals into the same category as ALL sinners and those whose actions are not in line with what’s said in The Bible. So to be clear, I see homosexuals in the same category as say, alcoholics. These are people that are not necessarily ‘bad” people, but instead are people doing bad things, i.e. sinners. I also do not believe people are “born” gay. I believe that you can be predisposed to it through iniquity. Moses was clear on this when he wrote, and I am paraphrasing, that even though your sins be forgiven by God, this does not clear you completely as the iniquity of those sins will be visited on your children and your children’s children to the third and fourth generation. Knowing that anything you do could be transferred to your children, who would want to sin? That being said, YES homosexuality is nothing more than an iniquity that can be overcome and the sins of it forgiven by God. Just ask Sy Rogers!
Any Christians that say that they don’t want gays at their church or don’t want anything to do with gays in general are NOT true Christians. Would they turn away the alcoholics the same? A true Christian does not turn away ANY sinners who are hungry for the Word, hungry to know the Lord! And of course, be mindful that not all “Christians” are who they say they are. Our enemy, the devil, has fakes everywhere, even in your own church!
In conclusion, I’m not sure how obvious it was but the purpose of this blog was to show that Christians DO LOVE gays, the same as they love everyone. Any Christians that say they don’t are not true Christians. Bear in mind that Christians won’t accept gays as they are but instead see them as sinners who can overcome their sin and live a Godly life. And that ONLY comes by accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord AND Savior, repenting of their sin and then no longer engaging in that sin. Gays CAN be delivered of that homosexuality. They have but just to ask the Lord for help.
Iniquities, Forgiveness and Punishment…
I’ve wanted to blog about iniquities for some time. I’ve seen them in my family members and, unfortunately, I recognize them in myself having been handed down from my parents. The Bible is very clear that iniquities (sins) are passed down to your children, going even in the third and fourth generations.
“Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.” (EXODUS 34:7)
My mother’s father was a very mean man, according to her and her siblings. It was as though he blamed the children for the reason he had to go off to work every morning. He didn’t act as though he wanted the children around. My mother says that he came home from the war a changed man. He was in Normandy on D-Day, although the beach was firmly secured by the time he arrived, I’m certain he witnessed enough to impact him greatly. However, I don’t agree that his treatment of family was related to being ‘changed by the war’. I believe that was an iniquity my grandfather received from his parents. Your views of children come DIRECTLY from your parents and how they treated you.
Both my parents are prone to quick anger, and I strive to keep that in check in myself. It is clear I have that iniquity from them. My mother never bonded with me. I was an Asperger child and didn’t like to be held much. My mother took that as an insult, as if a 1 or 2 year could insult anyone! And of course, Asperger’s was not officially accepted until the 1990s so no one knew when I was kid. The doctors told my mother I was healthy and just had a discipline problem. She then proceeded to treat me just like her father had treated her… as if I were a bad kid. Everything I did, whether good or bad, I got yelled at or worse, ignored. She still denies that to this day. She has never apologized once for anything she’s done wrong.. ever. Not to anyone in the family. My sister has even said that before. And I have tried to talk with my mother on several occasions about it. Instead of listening to what I say, she turns the entire conversation around so that she is the victim. She says, ‘how dare you say these things to me!’ and how I ‘hurt her by saying those things.’ She never actually addresses what I said, she just avoids, plays the victim, and then I am the bad guy. She then pulls my father into it and looks at him and says, ‘did you hear what she said to me?!’ Now Dad is caught between us and ends up backing up my mother, who should have never pulled him into it to begin with. I am sad to say that I have had to eliminate both of them from my life altogether. I cannot get past the hurt and the fact that they refuse to listen. I have forgiven them as the Lord wants me to. I still miss my father a lot, but I can no longer let them into my life to continue to hurt me over and over again. I have forgiven them, but I will never forget.
So the subject of iniquities now brings me to punishment. Even if you ask for forgiveness from God, you will still be punished. You are still guilty as stated in Exodus 34:7. Much like how children screw up and whether intentional or not, we still punish them. God works in that way too! This is even a common theme in the Bible. Let’s take Jonah as an example. He defied God by not going to Ninevah and then later found himself stuck in the stomach of a huge fish! He finally realizes the error of his ways but still had to spend 3 days in that fish, until he was turned white from the stomach acid and very, extremely fishy-stinky! Then that nasty fish vomited him up on shore. Now, God forgave him as soon as he realized he was wrong, but He did not rescue him from the fish! Jonah’s punishment, I believe, was to be stuck in that nasty fish and then vomited up later. A pretty bad punishment, in my opinion, for disobeying God! But the point is very clear. God forgives but the punishment still stands.
I am having some trouble on finishing up this blog! But I will end by saying that you CAN ask God for forgiveness of your sins, bear in mind that you will still have to pay for them. But repentance is important! Be sure to pray that the iniquities you inherited from family also be forgiven! Pray to have your children forgiven from them as well. I believe that God can remove the iniquities from your heart, but you do have to look to him to do it!
Where I Began…
To know how I got to where I am now, you must know from where I began. From my first blog, you know that I did not grow up knowing the Lord. My family would tell people they were ‘Christian’ but there was no reading the Bible in our home, no teaching us about anything having to do with Christianity. From other relatives, I learned that when my mother was young, her grandmother died and it was then she stopped believing in God. My father seemed to see Christians as the crazy, bible-thumpers some portray them to be. So we practiced all the holidays but I knew very little about the true meaning of those holidays.
As I grew up, I had the desire inside of me to learn about the Lord. The babysitter took us to Vacation Bible School and I loved it. However, I remember visiting friends’ churches and they didn’t feel good to me. I started thinking I was evil because I would go into a church and feel an overwhelming sense that I didn’t belong there. Once I became an adult, I started searching for whatever the ‘truth’ was. I read tons of new-age books. I tried a little of almost every belief system out there.
I’m not happy about the beliefs that I practiced before now, but I’m not ashamed either. The devil is a deceiver and well let’s be honest, he’s REALLY good at it! And and why shouldn’t he be, after having thousands of years to perfect it. The first non-Christian thing I tried was when I was about age 20. In a moment of anger toward the Lord, I told him that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I was tired of not understanding the Bible, not having answers to my questions. I told him to go and actually ‘felt’ him leave. Until that moment I didn’t realize how connected I actually was to him! I felt empty but my anger persisted. I started hearing another voice in my head that I KNEW was evil. I told it that if it could do ‘anything’ as it claimed, then have my ex-boyfriend appear in front of me. (I was driving in my car as I said that.) Moments later, a car pulled in front of me and at the next stop light I realized that it was indeed my X! I was shocked and scared! I returned home and repented to the Lord and he joined me again immediately.
After that I never again turned toward the darkside, but I still didn’t think that I knew ‘the truth’. I went to new-age workshops, I had past-life regressions (I was SURE that reincarnation was real!), I went to see a channeler, and the list goes on. I started reading every book I could get my hands on and that included the Bible. I believed in God, but thought that maybe Jesus was just a ‘prophet’. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know how much of the Bible was actually metaphor and how much was just plain facts. In my late 20s, I dated a preacher’s son and he was more screwed up than me. I don’t remember what denomination he came from, but let’s just say that having him in my life did more harm for my Christianity than good. During the time I dated him, I had given away all of my ‘sinful’ books (non-Christian) but after him, I had to buy more because I was still searching for the truth. And I thought that I had finally found it at about age 30 with “The Law of Attraction”.
I started reading what are called the ‘Seth books‘. A woman supposedly channeled an ‘entity’ named Seth a who answered lots of questions posed to him. I also really got into the Law of Attraction by reading the ‘Abraham‘ books. Here was again, another channeled entity and this one talked all about the Law of Attraction, among other things. Anyway, whatever was being said in those books got through to me. I was praying to God but trying to use the Law of Attraction at the same time. What a disaster! I would pray and believe that God would answer my prayers because I was using the ‘Law’ to try and make things happen.
I was deep into this crap for a long time. Then one day the devil overplayed his hand. I started noticing a pattern. I would spend weeks thinking happy thoughts about some changes I wanted to see in my life, but NOTHING happened. And then literally, the very second I thought something bad, it happened immediately. That voice in my head (that I know now was not the Lord) said, “see that! you did that! you made that happen because you thought something bad!” Then it hit me. I said, “that doesn’t make sense. I think good thoughts over and over for weeks upon weeks and get nothing, and I think one bad thought and BAM! bad thing happens fast as lightning!” Hmmm.. something smells fishy! I had finally begun to see the deceit in it all!
My boyfriend at the time, who is now my husband, had waited patiently until this day when I told him that I think my beliefs are screwed up. I told him what happened and he explained to me about how the devil is a great deceiver. I knew it was the truth because things started happening in my life that told me I was on the right path. I could ‘feel’ the anger of the demons. I heard snake hissing sounds in my bedroom, and lots more bizarre things happening. I had found the truth I had been searching for and continue to this day to learn more and experience more from our Lord! I will have lots more details of that in upcoming blogs!
the11thhourworker 