the11thhourworker

Matthew 20:1-16

Iniquities, Forgiveness and Punishment…

I’ve wanted to blog about iniquities for some time. I’ve seen them in my family members and, unfortunately, I recognize them in myself having been handed down from my parents. The Bible is very clear that iniquities (sins) are passed down to your children, going even in the third and fourth generations.

“Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.” (EXODUS 34:7)

My mother’s father was a very mean man, according to her and her siblings. It was as though he blamed the children for the reason he had to go off to work every morning. He didn’t act as though he wanted the children around. My mother says that he came home from the war a changed man. He was in Normandy on D-Day, although the beach was firmly secured by the time he arrived, I’m certain he witnessed enough to impact him greatly. However, I don’t agree that his treatment of family was related to being ‘changed by the war’. I believe that was an iniquity my grandfather received from his parents. Your views of children come DIRECTLY from your parents and how they treated you.

Both my parents are prone to quick anger, and I strive to keep that in check in myself. It is clear I have that iniquity from them. My mother never bonded with me. I was an Asperger child and didn’t like to be held much. My mother took that as an insult, as if a 1 or 2 year could insult anyone! And of course, Asperger’s was not officially accepted until the 1990s so no one knew when I was kid. The doctors told my mother I was healthy and just had a discipline problem. She then proceeded to treat me just like her father had treated her… as if I were a bad kid. Everything I did, whether good or bad, I got yelled at or worse, ignored. She still denies that to this day. She has never apologized once for anything she’s done wrong.. ever. Not to anyone in the family. My sister has even said that before. And I have tried to talk with my mother on several occasions about it. Instead of listening to what I say, she turns the entire conversation around so that she is the victim. She says, ‘how dare you say these things to me!’ and how I ‘hurt her by saying those things.’ She never actually addresses what I said, she just avoids, plays the victim, and then I am the bad guy. She then pulls my father into it and looks at him and says, ‘did you hear what she said to me?!’ Now Dad is caught between us and ends up backing up my mother, who should have never pulled him into it to begin with. I am sad to say that I have had to eliminate both of them from my life altogether. I cannot get past the hurt and the fact that they refuse to listen. I have forgiven them as the Lord wants me to. I still miss my father a lot, but I can no longer let them into my life to continue to hurt me over and over again. I have forgiven them, but I will never forget.

So the subject of iniquities now brings me to punishment. Even if you ask for forgiveness from God, you will still be punished. You are still guilty as stated in Exodus 34:7. Much like how children screw up and whether intentional or not, we still punish them. God works in that way too! This is even a common theme in the Bible. Let’s take Jonah as an example. He defied God by not going to Ninevah and then later found himself stuck in the stomach of a huge fish! He finally realizes the error of his ways but still had to spend 3 days in that fish, until he was turned white from the stomach acid and very, extremely fishy-stinky! Then that nasty fish vomited him up on shore. Now, God forgave him as soon as he realized he was wrong, but He did not rescue him from the fish! Jonah’s punishment, I believe, was to be stuck in that nasty fish and then vomited up later. A pretty bad punishment, in my opinion, for disobeying God! But the point is very clear. God forgives but the punishment still stands.

I am having some trouble on finishing up this blog! But I will end by saying that you CAN ask God for forgiveness of your sins, bear in mind that you will still have to pay for them. But repentance is important! Be sure to pray that the iniquities you inherited from family also be forgiven! Pray to have your children forgiven from them as well. I believe that God can remove the iniquities from your heart, but you do have to look to him to do it!

August 4, 2011 Posted by | My True Experiences | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Where I Began…

To know how I got to where I am now, you must know from where I began. From my first blog, you know that I did not grow up knowing the Lord. My family would tell people they were ‘Christian’ but there was no reading the Bible in our home, no teaching us about anything having to do with Christianity. From other relatives, I learned that when my mother was young, her grandmother died and it was then she stopped believing in God. My father seemed to see Christians as the crazy, bible-thumpers some portray them to be. So we practiced all the holidays but I knew very little about the true meaning of those holidays.

As I grew up, I had the desire inside of me to learn about the Lord. The babysitter took us to Vacation Bible School and I loved it. However, I remember visiting friends’ churches and they didn’t feel good to me. I started thinking I was evil because I would go into a church and feel an overwhelming sense that I didn’t belong there. Once I became an adult, I started searching for whatever the ‘truth’ was. I read tons of new-age books. I tried a little of almost every belief system out there.

I’m not happy about the beliefs that I practiced before now, but I’m not ashamed either. The devil is a deceiver and well let’s be honest, he’s REALLY good at it! And and why shouldn’t he be, after having thousands of years to perfect it. The first non-Christian thing I tried was when I was about age 20. In a moment of anger toward the Lord, I told him that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I was tired of not understanding the Bible, not having answers to my questions. I told him to go and actually ‘felt’ him leave. Until that moment I didn’t realize how connected I actually was to him! I felt empty but my anger persisted. I started hearing another voice in my head that I KNEW was evil. I told it that if it could do ‘anything’ as it claimed, then have my ex-boyfriend appear in front of me. (I was driving in my car as I said that.) Moments later, a car pulled in front of me and at the next stop light I realized that it was indeed my X! I was shocked and scared! I returned home and repented to the Lord and he joined me again immediately.

After that I never again turned toward the darkside, but I still didn’t think that I knew ‘the truth’. I went to new-age workshops, I had past-life regressions (I was SURE that reincarnation was real!), I went to see a channeler, and the list goes on. I started reading every book I could get my hands on and that included the Bible. I believed in God, but thought that maybe Jesus was just a ‘prophet’. I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know how much of the Bible was actually metaphor and how much was just plain facts. In my late 20s, I dated a preacher’s son and he was more screwed up than me. I don’t remember what denomination he came from, but let’s just say that having him in my life did more harm for my Christianity than good. During the time I dated him, I had given away all of my ‘sinful’ books (non-Christian) but after him, I had to buy more because I was still searching for the truth. And I thought that I had finally found it at about age 30 with “The Law of Attraction”.

I started reading what are called the ‘Seth books‘. A woman supposedly channeled an ‘entity’ named Seth a who answered lots of questions posed to him. I also really got into the Law of Attraction by reading the ‘Abraham‘ books. Here was again, another channeled entity and this one talked all about the Law of Attraction, among other things. Anyway, whatever was being said in those books got through to me. I was praying to God but trying to use the Law of Attraction at the same time. What a disaster! I would pray and believe that God would answer my prayers because I was using the ‘Law’ to try and make things happen.

I was deep into this crap for a long time. Then one day the devil overplayed his hand. I started noticing a pattern. I would spend weeks thinking happy thoughts about some changes I wanted to see in my life, but NOTHING happened. And then literally, the very second I thought something bad, it happened immediately. That voice in my head (that I know now was not the Lord) said, “see that! you did that! you made that happen because you thought something bad!” Then it hit me. I said, “that doesn’t make sense. I think good thoughts over and over for weeks upon weeks and get nothing, and I think one bad thought and BAM! bad thing happens fast as lightning!” Hmmm.. something smells fishy! I had finally begun to see the deceit in it all!

My boyfriend at the time, who is now my husband, had waited patiently until this day when I told him that I think my beliefs are screwed up. I told him what happened and he explained to me about how the devil is a great deceiver. I knew it was the truth because things started happening in my life that told me I was on the right path. I could ‘feel’ the anger of the demons. I heard snake hissing sounds in my bedroom, and lots more bizarre things happening. I had found the truth I had been searching for and continue to this day to learn more and experience more from our Lord! I will have lots more details of that in upcoming blogs!

July 21, 2011 Posted by | My True Experiences | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard

The parable of the workers in the vineyard, as told in Matthew 20:1-16, is one of my favorite parables in the Bible.  For those that don’t know, Jesus often spoke in parables to help his disciples better understand, and remember, what he was teaching them.  I find this true even today, as most of my life I have used analogies and parables when explaining things.  I’ve found that it works really well with the children, especially ours with Asperger’s syndrome.

This parable is about a landowner hiring workers for his vineyard.  The landowner hired workers throughout the day, at different times.  And at the end of the day, the landowner decided to give the same pay to all the workers.  Some had worked all day and some had worked for only an hour.  But at the end of the day, they all received the same reward.

The vineyard represents the Kingdom of Heaven, and we, all of us, represent the workers.  It does not matter whether you grew up knowing the Lord or whether you just met him yesterday;  You still will go to Heaven when you die and be with the Lord.  The workers that came in and only worked for one hour are often referred to as ’11th hour workers’, hence the name of my blog.  Your rewards in Heaven might be different from those that have been serving the Lord all their lives.  But whether you just accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior today, or have known Him all your life, you will still go to Heaven when you die.

I see myself as an ’11th hour worker’ because I was nearly 40 years old before I found the Lord.  My parents did not go to church, nor have any Christian background to teach my sister and me.  I was a teenager when my mother decided to join a Catholic church, so I grew up with very little understanding of who God and Jesus were and what the Bible was all about.  I always worried that people who had a strong Christian upbringing would be held in higher esteem by the Lord.  But through this parable, Jesus was very clear that was not the case!  What a wonderful message from the Lord!

July 16, 2011 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments