the11thhourworker

Matthew 20:1-16

Andrew Wommack and Faith Like A Grain of Mustard Seed

My husband and I have been followers of Andrew Wommack for several years.  It is apparently not popular to follow him and I get some hate emails from even mentioning him in my blog!  However, that won’t deter me from speaking about him.  I have found his teachings to be simple and provide a wealth of information.  While I’m still a fairly new Christian, the things that Andrew Wommack teaches were even unknown to my husband who has been a Christian for over 4 decades.  Andrew’s simple teachings have opened our eyes to the TRUTH that the devil has wanted to remain hidden for so long.

got But make no mistake, even now we struggle with some of the teachings.  What we are finding is this;   Andrew is here to teach the simplest form of these truths.  He is a good place to start;  a sort of “jumping off” point.  Christians should always study the Bible on their own and with others.  And while the new information Andrew has shown us is invaluable, there is still  more to the story.  Do I doubt the Lord answers every prayer, every time as Andrew says?  NOPE.  I believe that 100%.  Then WHY are all my prayers not being answered?  Andrew says it’s “unbelief” or maybe because an improper request was made, or maybe even something else that can’t be guessed.  But whatever the reason, he is right.  There IS more… there IS something else.  And only the Lord can tell us what or why.

We have believed, and seen our prayer answered just hours later.  We were having a less than normal month in our otherwise successful business.  Our business is such that certain months are slower than others.  So we prayed for grocery money.  It was an actual “need”.  My husband was heading off to a meeting and they were doing a raffle.  And a couple hours later, he came home with money in his pocket.  He had 2 winnings actually, which more showed the Lord’s hand in it!  He first won a “draw” and then when he drew, he won the pot!  Glory to God!  We praised and praised.  But truth be told, we both somehow knew he was coming home with that money.  We felt it in our spirits.  But this does not happen every time we make a request to God.  We KNOW that we have faith and belief and do not waver from it.  We KNOW that, just as Andrew Wommack teaches, the Lord DOES answer every prayer, every time, so long as it is appropriate.  But something else is keeping prayers from being answered.  I have asked the Lord about this and been receiving some answers just recently.  

Don't Limit God!I’ve been wanting to know why the healing I am trying to get is not happening.  I have struggled with obesity for many years.  I am more active than most women I know and eat normal meals.  I don’t sit my butt on a sofa all day or eat enough food for 7 people.  I KNOW in my spirit this is a metabolism or similarly related health issue I inherited through iniquity (my mother has it, other women in the family too.)  And the Lord showed me it was because of my heart-attitude.  I’ve long wanted healing from obesity.  The Lord showed me that the healing I wanted was for my outward appearance and not because of medical issues.  And He is right!  I care more about how I look and how others see me, and the health needs are secondary at best.  I need to get my heart right and THEN the healing will come.  The Lord SHOWED me this.  That isn’t something Andrew Wommack can teach you.  Andrew teaches that there are reasons you aren’t getting your healing, but he can’t show you every possible scenario.  Only the LORD can show you what is preventing your prayer from being answered!  And I suspect that oftentimes, it is because of demonic intervention.

I can give you a perfect example on this from Daniel.  In Daniel 9:20-21, Daniel says specifically that while he was STILL in the middle of his prayer, an angel of the Lord, Gabriel, showed up with an answer to it.  He had not even finished praying and it was answered.  However, then in Daniel 10:12-14, his prayer request comes about very differently.  He waits 3 weeks for it to be answered.  The angel then comes and says that he was detained by the “King of Persia” and another angel, Michael, had to come and help him.  If you’ve been studying your Bible you know that “King of Persia” is a reference used for a demon or the devil himself.  In effect, the devil kept the prayer from being answered.  The Bible does not tell us why.  It would seem that when the devil believes he can keep a prayer from being answered, he will.  The verse also states that the angel said “Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard.”  It’s clear that the angel is saying that from the second He heard the prayer, the Lord answered it and it was only delayed because of demonic intervention.  And that the angel dispatched by God had to fight with this demon for so long that another angel had to jump in and help.  Clearly, there is MUCH going on “behind the scenes” that we will never see while on this planet.  This is another area where FAITH comes in!

The bottom line is that if you don’t know why your prayers are not being answered, you have to look to the Lord for the answers.

I’ll give you another example the Lord shared with me recently.  I speak to the planet and other things quite often.  I have FAITH that what I command will be done.  I believe the Bible where Jesus says:  “…Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”   ~Matthew 17:20

I have a couple examples of this.  I have a terrible fear of wasps and they seek me out in their demonic-like fashion.  When doing yard work, I am harassed to an extent that isn’t normal.  So when I walk out the door, I always speak to the bugs and tell them that they WILL stay away from me.  Whatever they need to do, they can do away from me and my yard.  Without fail, they do exactly as I say.  One day, I saw something like a large hornet coming at me at top speed and without even thinking, I started speaking in tongues straight at it and just before it ran directly into me, it veered off in a most unearthly manner and disappeared.  I use this command of the planet, so to speak, in other ways as well.  About a month ago, I spoke to the Earth and told it to snow.  We haven’t seen much snow this season and it’s something I love and was really missing it!  The snow came but not exactly as I spoke it.  When I thought on it, the Lord put it on my heart that the reason it didn’t happen the way I commanded was that my request was self-serving.  He reminded me of the stray cats we feed and asked what I thought of them having to walk a long way in cold, wet snow to get to the food.  And what about people that have car or personal accidents due to snow?  His communication was simple;  my request for snow was selfish and served no godly purpose.   Boy, did I feel dumb after that, albeit wiser now. 

wellIn conclusion, I believe that Andrew Wommack is NOT wrong.  The advice he gives and his interpretations of the Bible are spot on.  In my opinion and my own experience, Andrew is trying to get people on the right path.  He’s giving advice that IS simple.  Now, that being said, it’s NOT ALWAYS *that* simple.  Sometimes there is demonic intervention or a prayer that was ungodly, or maybe an open door in your life due to sin.  There are too many reasons to count as to why your specific prayer may not be answered.  But just as Andrew says, if your prayer is not answered, there’s a reason for it.  It’s up to YOU to find the reason, and NOT up to the Lord to work around it!

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March 15, 2015 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

PERSONAL UPDATE, AND THIS ISSUE OF GAYS AND HOMOSEXUALITY…

Well, here we are at the end of the year 2013 and I haven’t written a blog in ages.  My husband and I have been spending most of this year building a new business.  That alone has kept us busier than I ever would have imagined.  Then in August, we rescued this cat that the neighbors abandoned when they moved.

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Then a month later took in yet another cat and 6 kittens that were abandoned when a different family moved and left her.  (What is with people moving and leaving animals behind to fend for themselves!?) 

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We gave away four kittens and have kept two ourselves.  This was mainly due to the fact that they were sick and all of us got really attached to them since they were here with us the longest.  They had caught a bug (like a cold or flu) and then we found that the reason they were so sick was that on top of the cold they also had tapeworms and Coccidia.  I don’t think I’ve ever washed my hands and bleach-cleaned litter boxes so often as I had to with the Coccidia

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Was a very rough time for me, to say the least.  So we went from having one cat to now having five cats in our home, and I think I went nearly 3 solid months of getting only 5-6 hours of sleep per night.  There is so much more to the story than that (and that doesn’t count the stray outside cat we are feeding but not bringing into the house.)  But suffice it to say, that the last four months of 2013 have seen an increase in the amount of work we do, on top of our business, caring for these precious animals.

And now the Lord has put it on my heart to speak about something that I have touched on before but not gone into that much detail.  This is specifically about something that’s been in the news recently and that is the issue of gays and homosexuality and how the Christian community is treating them.

Let me begin by laying the foundation for the blog.  And that is, no matter what group of people you identify with, or what type of business you are in, there are other similar groups or similar businesses that do not agree with you.  This is a hard one to put into words but as a (lame) example, think of homeless shelters or Baptist churches or any type of specific company or specific type of group of people.  They all have something in common but they will also have things that are unique to them.  And that uniqueness is where conflict occurs.  One homeless shelter might be doing something that other shelters don’t agree with, and one Baptist church might be teaching something that other Baptist churches don’t agree with.  This can even be applied to banks, retail stores, restaurants, etc.  And getting to the point… all Christians are not the same even though we are (or should be) reading from the same book… The Bible.

As a born-again Christian who has accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord AND Savior, I know that Jesus died for ALL of us.  There is no longer an ‘angry’ God because Jesus paid for our sins and God’s anger toward us was removed.  Even if I choose to sin right now, that doesn’t make God angry at me.  He *might* be disappointed, but not angry.  If I choose to become gay and begin having sex with a woman, He would also not be angry with me.  And let me be clear here… II do not believe in homosexuality because it IS a sin.

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As a Christian, that Bible passage couldn’t be any clearer that homosexuality is a sin.  And that is why I don’t believe in allowing gay marriage, and I don’t believe in gay relationships.  Does that mean that I hate gay people?  Nope.  Not at all.  But I will not condone what they do by acting ‘tolerant’ as current politically-correct society would have us do.  Will I treat them like I do everyone else?  Absolutely.  Will I try to minister to them if an opportunity arises?  You bet I will.  I put homosexuals into the same category as ALL sinners and those whose actions are not in line with what’s said in The Bible.  So to be clear, I see homosexuals in the same category as say, alcoholics.  These are people that are not necessarily ‘bad” people, but instead are people doing bad things, i.e. sinners.  I also do not believe people are “born” gay.  I believe that you can be predisposed to it through iniquity.  Moses was clear on this when he wrote, and I am paraphrasing, that even though your sins be forgiven by God, this does not clear you completely as the iniquity of those sins will be visited on your children and your children’s children to the third and fourth generation.  Knowing that anything you do could be transferred to your children, who would want to sin?  That being said, YES homosexuality is nothing more than an iniquity that can be overcome and the sins of it forgiven by God.  Just ask Sy Rogers

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Any Christians that say that they don’t want gays at their church or don’t want anything to do with gays in general are NOT true Christians.  Would they turn away the alcoholics the same?  A true Christian does not turn away ANY sinners who are hungry for the Word, hungry to know the Lord!  And of course, be mindful that not all “Christians” are who they say they are.  Our enemy, the devil, has fakes everywhere, even in your own church! 

In conclusion, I’m not sure how obvious it was but the purpose of this blog was to show that Christians DO LOVE gays, the same as they love everyone.  Any Christians that say they don’t are not true Christians.  Bear in mind that Christians won’t accept gays as they are but instead see them as sinners who can overcome their sin and live a Godly life.  And that ONLY comes by accepting Jesus Christ as their Lord AND Savior, repenting of their sin and then no longer engaging in that sin.  Gays CAN be delivered of that homosexuality.  They have but just to ask the Lord for help.

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December 29, 2013 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

SICKNESS, DEMONS, PRIDE AND *GASP* HOMOSEXUALITY

Let’s start off this blog by talking about SICKNESS.   What if I told you that ALL sickness is of the devil?  What if I also said that God does NOT give us illnesses or make bad things happen to teach us a lesson, or to somehow give glory to him?  Before I was born again, even I was guilty of believing that God gives us sickness to teach us lessons.  But the veil has been lifted from my eyes, now that I have found Jesus Christ, and I am no longer deceived.  The devil is solely responsible for all sickness and every other evil thing that happens.  God does not want you to be sick; God does not want terrible things to happen to you at all.  However, God will use a bad situation and turn it around so that something good comes from it.  A hypothetical example might be a mother whose son is killed by a drunk driver, and she later starts advocating for tougher drunk driving laws.  In that example, God didn’t cause the death of the son; it was all the devil’s doing.  But God will use it so that some positive outcome unfolds.


Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10 NIV)  This makes it crystal clear that the thief, meaning the devil, is the source of all woes and sickness but Jesus blesses us.


And let me hit you with another one;  DEMONS.  How many of you think that demons only exist in ‘other’ places?  I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to who believe that demons only exist in places like Haiti (because of voodoo practices there) or that demons are only around true devil-worshippers.  But the truth is that nowhere in the Bible does it say demons are only in ‘certain places.’  In chapters 1 and 2 of JOB, Satan says specifically that he has been “roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.”  That sure sounds to me like he was all over the entire planet!  But there is zero scripture to back up an argument that demons are only in ‘certain’ places on earth.


There are many references in the Bible to people having a ‘demon’ or ‘unclean spirit’ inside of them.  Jesus and his disciples cast many demons out of people!  A few examples are in Matthew 8:16 and 8:28-33 and Mark 1:23-27.  Jesus and his disciples also healed people of their illnesses.  If God had given them the illnesses, why would Jesus have removed them?  And if you believe that God gave you an illness, why would you go to the doctor for a cure, when you believe God wanted you to have it?!  Put in those perspectives, saying that God is responsible for illnesses doesn’t make any logical sense!


So now that we know that ALL sickness is caused by satan and his demons, why would anyone want to ‘glorify’ their illnesses?  You would, in effect, be glorifying the devil!  And yet, that is exactly what people are doing.


And that leads me to hit you with a really difficult one now;  HOMOSEXUALITY.  There are many places in the Bible where it talks specifically about men being with men and women being with women.  Some examples can be found in Leviticus 18 and 20, Romans 1 and 1 Corinthians 6 and all make it clear that it is sinful and immoral.  But let me be specific on this:  I have had many homosexual friends in my lifetime and would never condemn them, or turn my back on them.  I know many won’t agree with what I’m about to say, but here goes;  You can be HEALED of homosexuality the same as being healed of cancer or alcohol addiction or any illness.  Therefore, I do put homosexuality in the same category as addiction or disease and it CAN be overcome through Jesus Christ.


I can give you a couple examples to back this up.  First, in Andrew Wommack’s book “The Believer’s Authority: What You Didn’t Learn in Church”, he speaks about casting demons out of a homosexual man who requested this deliverance.  And second, there is Sy Rogers.  In his ministry, he speaks often of being a former homosexual, who was very active in the gay lifestyle.  But Sy has now been healed of his homosexuality and has been born again, and married for over 20 years.


The Believer's Authority                    Sy Rogers


I know many homosexuals, including a close friend who confirmed to me, believe they were born gay.  I don’t doubt that at all.  But again, you can be born addicted to alcohol (if your mother drank while pregnant) and you can be born with cancer or other illnesses, so it stands to reason that you could be born ‘gay’.  So the ‘being born like this’ argument doesn’t really apply.  And that doesn’t even take into account INIQUITIES talked about in the Bible that could also be responsible for ‘being born’ gay.


The problem I see is this; You cannot GLORIFY sin or illnesses because if you do, you give glory to the devil instead of glorifying the Lord!  That is the main reason why I am not an advocate for gay marriage.  In my opinion, being for gay marriage is like being for alcoholism or being for cancer.  These are all things you need to overcome and be healed from, so going along with it as though nothing is wrong is giving glory to the wrong person!


This leads me to a new tactic that the devil started using against us a couple decades ago; PRIDE.  The Bible says many things about pride such as, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2) and “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18).  The Bible is clear that pride is a sin.  So the devil started his ‘pride campaign’ on people and of course, used their own sins and illnesses as a form of pride.   There is of course ‘Gay Pride’ and recently I saw an advertisement that told me to ‘Own my ADHD’ as if you should have pride over having the illness of ADHD!  If that’s not straight up demonic deception, I don’t know what is.


In conclusion, I will say that the Lord wants you healed!  He wants you to be well.  But you cannot get well while you are glorifying the devil by having pride over your illnesses and sins.  You MUST resist the devil to be healed!  I cannot say that loud enough or enough times.  You MUST resist the devil to be healed.  Seek out the Lord, lay hands on and heal the sick, but stop glorifying the devil by ‘accepting’ your illnesses and sins!


“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7 NIV)


May 16, 2012 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

If My Sins Are Paid For, Then Why Not Just Sin All I Want?

I have been having an extremely difficult time lately with something.  One member of our family stood up for another family member’s evil, sinful ways by saying that her sins ‘have been PAID for.’   End of story.  Nothing further to discuss.   After I picked my jaw up off the floor, this got me to thinking…  if our sins are paid for, then why not just sin all we want?  God may not like it but Jesus ALREADY paid for them, right?   When I became born-again, I was saved.  I have eternal life through Christ Jesus and I will be in Heaven one day.  That’s it and that’s all.  Regardless of what I do from now until the time of my mortal death, I WILL be in Heaven.  That is all true.

The family member who stood up for evil, did nothing to condemn it, now SHARES in this sin as well.  That same person claims to understand this, but how could you understand it and yet still go along with it because now YOU TOO are GUILTY and will be held responsible of the same sin!  Why…. WHY… would you claim to understand that and yet not speak up to what you have seen and heard?  I am actually MORE worried about the person covering up the sin than the person committing it.

“Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.” ~LEVITICUS 19:17 (NIV)

“If anyone sins because they do not speak up when they hear a public charge to testify regarding something they have seen or learned about, they will be held responsible.”  ~LEVITICUS 5:1  (NIV)

Now, I know we ALL sin.  But those of us with a true intimate relationship with the Lord, who LOVE the Lord and honestly WANT to live up to his expectations of us, wouldn’t purposefully go about sinning.  It’s just not in our born-again nature to do that.

The family member that actually did the sinning, commits evil acts so often, that if you asked me to name just a couple nice things she has done to help others, I could honestly not tell you even one.  Her evil ways are born out of extreme selfishness and everything she does has a self-serving basis.  She claims to love the Lord and that the things she does is only because she wants to be ‘happy’, and the Lord wants her to be happy, right?  (She has actually said this while engaged in an affair with another man, while married to her second husband.)  What she cannot grasp is that if you do things out of sheer selfishness… if you do things that hurt others… you can and never will be ‘happy’ and will never know ‘peace’.  That completely goes against spiritual law.  You will not receive peace and happiness from sin… you cannot receive something good by doing something evil.

The Lord helped me understand the true problem with this woman.  She is born-again.  She claims to love the Lord.  But she is ‘on the fence.’  She can be good or she can be evil but she CANNOT BE BOTH.  Until she CHOOSES A SIDE, she will NEVER have peace and NEVER be happy.

Here’s how the Lord explained it to me:

GOOD:  If you are engaged in a loving and intimate relationship with the Lord, then He is all you need to find peace and happiness.  If you are looking anywhere but to the Lord for help in being happy, you will fail.  Only through the Lord will you succeed.

EVIL:  And if you are not born-again and do not know the Lord, then you are on the other side of the fence.  Evil will be dominant in your life and those who seek to keep you in the dark will probably offer you tokens of happiness to keep you there.  The devil will bring you wealth or whatever else you desire to keep you away from the Lord.  He will make you believe that you have ALL you need to be happy and therefore, you need nothing else.  You will never seek the Lord because you don’t feel you need Him.  These forms of happiness might make your life on Earth easier but you will never know eternal life.  The devil’s job is to deceive and he is really good at it.

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires;  but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.  The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;  the sinful mind is hostile to God.  It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.  Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.”  ROMANS 8:5-8

SO…. WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON?

February 14, 2012 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions, My True Experiences | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Communication, Children and Evil Ex-Spouses

Well, something came up with my husband’s x-wife and through it, the Lord has put it in my heart to write a new post!

The situation that came up is a repeat of something I still cannot understand fully.  My husband’s X-wife is one of those people who often do and say things that are just plain wrong, and many times downright evil.  In my humble opinion, I would classify most as ‘evil acts.’  That is the honest truth.  She does and says things that most people do not agree with.  BUT, no one –and I mean no one– in her life ever tells her that her actions are wrong.  People either go along with whatever evil plans she has, or just nod politely, listening to her but never saying anything.

The people in her life that don’t speak up and tell her she is acting in an evil manner are clearly those who fall in the category of poor and/or fearful communicators.  I’m sure that some are exactly like she is and do their own evil things, so of course they would agree with her.  But I know MANY really good people, some who claim to be Christian, that never speak out when she acts in an evil manner.  I realize I wrote about this Fear of Communication in my last post.  If you missed it, check it out here before reading any further.  The Fear of Communication is a big one these days, so I believe the Lord has put it on my heart, yet again, because it is really important!

So going back to my husband’s X…  The only explanation I have for how a person can get away for so long with not one single person telling them the TRUTH, must be that she, whether consciously or unconsciously, has surrounded herself with people that wouldn’t.  I am a truth-teller ALWAYS and it’s been my experience that the vast majority of people don’t want truth.  They might SAY they want truth, but only if it doesn’t hurt their feelings or go against what they really want or [insert many other ridiculous reasons here].  So in the end, regardless of their hyperbole, it ends up being that they really don’t want to hear truth.

It is only recently that my husband has even dared to start speaking truth with his X-wife.  After reading Andrew Wommack’s January 2012 newsletter where he firmly states that “You do not have the right to reject the Truth for another person”, and that if you do not speak up, you too are guilty of the sin (me paraphrasing), he has started to come around and understand that the Lord WANTS us to call people out when they are acting wrong.  My husband has always ‘feared’ his X-wife, even when they were married, because of what she ‘might’ do.  Her angry outbursts he has seen affect his children negatively, and he tried to avoid it at all cost.  Now long after the divorce, he is still afraid that she will take things out on the kids and fears saying anything to her.  I’ve been trying to teach him that if he communicates properly with her, he need NOT ‘fear’ what she will do.  If he presents her with the truth and she takes it out on the kids, then it’s time to get fully custody of ALL the children and she can answer to God for her evil actions.  He has spent a few years still ‘fearing’ this idea at all.  He wants to play ‘nice’ and ‘pretend’ to get along with her by just not speaking up.  But when she’s not feeding the children properly or caring for them, it’s time to speak up and/or take the children!  If you do not, then you are letting the demon of fear RULE YOU and I KNOW God would not agree with that!

About 4 months ago, we had to switch out the 14 year who lived with us for the 10 year old who lived with his mom.  He has been having trouble for awhile.  He’s been caught cursing, writing nasty things on the walls of his bedroom, getting into trouble at school, and the list goes on.  He wanted to support a friend of his being bullied at school and took a ‘shiv’ to school that he made.  Well, of course he was caught and the school was going to expel him.  We intervened and quickly had to switch out the boys.  This upset the 14 year who did NOT want to live with his mother, but with the 10 year old in trouble, we had no choice.  I mean, he had one foot in the door to Juvenile Detention, and next stop is jail!  The X-wife will not give us custody of both boys because she worries about having to pay child support to us.  She doesn’t want whats best for her children, she see only dollar signs.  Saying she is selfish and only self-serving is actually too nice a definition.  Seriously.  But since coming to live with us, the 10 year old has profoundly changed.  He is a different child completely.  He is happy, well-adjusted, hardly ever does anything wrong, and is a complete joy to be with.  It is CLEAR to us, the extended family and even the officials at this new school, that he NEEDED out of his mother’s home.  She and the step-dad have caused this boy damage that we are still working to reverse every day.  His emotional damage runs deep.  There is so much more I could go into to provide further evidence of the mother’s lack of caring for her children, but I will stop so as not to shock you with details, that will make you want to hurt her as much as I do sometimes.  (I try to be Christian always, but with some people it is so difficult…)

Ex-Wife Is Satan

We took the 10 year old, who just turned 11, to the doctor for a check-up.  In the 4+ months since his last visit, he grew a full 1″ and gained 25 pounds.  This all happened while he’s been with us.  He is getting proper nutrition and we know that is the reason for the growth spurt.  The X-wife is all-consumed with the children being ‘fat’ (probably because she is fat herself) and we do not believe she was feeding him properly.  In the past 2 years, I cannot count the number of times the kids would come to our house, either STILL hungry after eating at her house or having not been fed at all by their mother!  Apparently, she’s been limiting their portions, not giving them enough or not bothering to feed them.  (I secretly believe that she’s too busy spending her money on herself and her needs to keep proper groceries in the house for the children.  Based on the behavior the 10 year showed when he came to live with us, this makes sense.  He would not want to eat cereal or drink milk so he could ‘save’ it for school days.  I had to tell him that if we run out, we WILL get more right away and he didn’t have so ‘save’ anything.  Some things like this he said really broke my heart!)

So my husband did something, on his own, that I never would think he could do.  He sent an email to his X telling her of how much the 10 year old has grown and that he didn’t think she was feeding him enough.  She sent back an email attacking him, as per her usual behavior, and kept calling the 10 year old ‘fat’ in the email.  My husband emailed back a very short and to the point email basically telling her that the boy is NOT fat, he is getting proper nutrition now which is what caused the growth spurt, and told her all she cares about is money, she doesn’t care how HER actions affect others, and that he will no longer keep silent when he sees something wrong!  WOW!   I was so PROUD of him I almost burst!  Finally, after 15+ years of knowing this woman, he was finally seeing her evil ways and speaking out against them.  I know that the Lord was proud of him too!

She sent a huge, long email to not only my husband but also to his mother.  All of us agreed, this email was her ‘pity party’.  Sentences upon sentences, over and over and over again, about she ‘tried’ to do this and ‘tried’ to do that but nothing is good enough for us.   The ACTUAL TRUTH is that if she has tried ANYTHING for more than one day, she would have had success.  We work with the boy every day, and even the simple act of praying with him before bedtime, means EVERYTHING in the world to him.  If she cared… if she ‘tried’… she would have had the wonderful boy that we have now.  A secondary email she sent after the big one was absent pity, since she saw that tactic wouldn’t work on my husband any longer, and was replaced with anger and pointing out how ‘wrong’ he was.  She even attacked me while speaking of herself and the step-dad glowingly.  She has let her demons completely rule her.  She REJECTED THE TRUTH my husband shared with her and refuses to accept any of it.

But there’s a big difference… My husband gave her the truth about how she has hurt the children, that she is all consumed with money, and her actions affect others.  She flat-out rejected this truth and will apparently be continuing on with her evil ways.  However, this time, my husband does not ‘share in her sin’ and that makes all the difference to the Lord.  I am so proud of him!

February 2, 2012 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions, My True Experiences | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

FEAR OF COMMUNICATION AND STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF

The Lord has put it on my heart to write a new blog.  He has asked me to write about COMMUNICATION.  And I know a lot on this subject, believe me.  I am the QUEEN OF COMMUNICATION!

Now, to be fair, I don’t always communicate properly.  My Aspergers makes it difficult and I speak bluntly, to a fault.  I’ve been told that my bluntness and tone of voice make the communication lost on people.  I am working to do better with that.  I will also point out that a lot of times people want to DISMISS the message simply because they didn’t like the tone I used.   One could say that was my fault, but I think it’s a two-way street and the person receiving the message is also at fault to a degree.  They simply had a convenient excuse to not receive the message!  I will say that if I see someone doing something that is just plain WRONG, it is extremely difficult for anyone, especially myself, to speak to them in a ‘nice, quiet’ voice.  I mean, there really ARE circumstances where directness and an angry tone just can’t be helped.

The first group of people I’d like to address are the quiet ones that can never say a negative or hurtful thing to anyone, regardless of the reason.  I can’t tell you how many people I know that would rather glue their mouths shut than risk offending someone.  They believe they will hurt their feelings or destroy their relationship, if they tell them the truth.  To get to the root of this problem…. it is very simply FEAR.  They cannot tell the truth because the person will get angry or will cry or *gasp*;  they may never want to talk to them again… FOREVER!   That is nothing but blind FEAR and has ZERO basis in reality.  These are ALL lies and deceptions from the devil, plain and simple.  The demon of FEAR has these type of people wrapped around his little finger and is laughing at them day after day that they remain in bondage to him.

Years ago, before I was a born-again Christian, I used to tell a friend of mine in an abusive relationship that she didn’t have to answer to anyone but God.  I didn’t know just how right I was in saying that!  Too many people FEAR MEN instead of fearing the Lord!

Maybe they have tried to talk to someone and got a less than favorable response, and now fear ever saying anything that will offend them again!  A recent newsletter from Andrew Wommack Ministries recently talked about this issue, and opened my eyes even further to the truth of this.   Paraphrasing a bit from Andrew’s January 2012 newsletter, he says that the Lord spoke to him and told him, “You do not have the right to reject the Truth for another person.”   What that meant is exactly what I’m blogging about today.  If you know the truth, but do not tell someone for fear of offending them, then you in reality, are rejecting that truth for them!  The Lord told him that he did not have that right.  This is exactly what I’ve been trying to tell people for years.

“Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.”  ~LEVITICUS 19:17 (NIV)

The Bible is VERY clear on this…. if you see someone do something wrong and do not speak up against it, YOU TOO ARE GUILTY of the sin.  That is a BOLD statement!  And as clearly stated in Leviticus 19:17, if you LOVE your brother (and this really means anyone!), you will rebuke him.  You do not have the right to keep the TRUTH from him.  The Lord WANTS you to give the truth to those who need it.  It will then be up to them to either accept it or reject it, but either way, you did your job.  If you don’t do this, then what would be the reason?  And here we are back to FEAR.  Fear of rejection, fear of offending someone, fear of losing them as a friend.  If you are so busy FEARING OTHERS, then how do you expect to follow God’s Word?  And a better question would be, if someone  would reject you so quickly just because you told them the truth, then how good of a relationship do you have with that person in the first place?!

A couple more examples of the Lord wanting us to speak up and tell the truth are:

“If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”  ~James  4:17 (NIV)

“If anyone sins because they do not speak up when they hear a public charge to testify regarding something they have seen or learned about, they will be held responsible.”  ~Leviticus 5:1  (NIV)

I have another example of this that I’d like to address;  the WORKPLACE.  How many of you have been asked to do something at work that you didn’t agree with because it conflicted with your morals?  What if your boss asked you to lie to a customer or another employee?  What if you were told to falsify records?  Most people I know would go along with it and try to pawn off the sin on the employer.  But how many of you would stand up to your boss and tell him/her that you cannot do what they have asked?  If you are too busy FEARING PEOPLE and NOT doing what the LORD WANTS YOU TO DO, then how can you call yourself a Christian?  Yes, I know.  You might lose your job.  If you lost a job like that, all you need do is TRUST IN THE LORD and He will bring you an even better job!  The Lord will not abandon someone who did the right thing!  FAITH is required in that situation as well.

This brings me to my next point….STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF.  I have several close people in my life that let others walk all over them.  My husband is actually getting better at not doing that, and I take full responsibility for his change because he’s learning from me.  lol  People always tell me that I am intimidating.  But it’s not that purposeful intimidation that some use to have power over others.  My intimidation stems from my self-confidence.  I can talk to anyone about anything, with no fear… I can state my case about anything with conviction… and that is what others apparently find intimidating.  They don’t have that self-confidence and are intimidated that I do.  Just like many others, I lacked self-confidence early in life.  But I GOT OVER IT.  I realized that the low self-esteem I had was burdened onto me by others… so-called ‘loved ones’ in my life, kids at school… others with low self-esteem.  Once I got over their bullshit, I pulled myself up and have never lacked self-confidence again!

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.  That’s ALL you have to do.  I used to challenge myself by trying to figure out what was ‘the worst thing that could happen.’  I would say to myself, ‘I deserve more money for all the extra work the boss has given me over the last few months.  So if I go in and ask for a raise, what’s the worst that could happen?’  He could say No.  Then I’m back exactly where I am now… no loss.  He could say Yes and then I am ahead!  But he’s not going to fire me, and no true professional would blow up in anger or demote me for just for asking.  I would go over these things in mind again and again with each new situation.  I would stand up for myself, and what I found time and time again, was that MY FEAR WAS OVERBLOWN.  There was nothing to be afraid of at all!  The devil had blown it out of proportion in my mind to keep me in bondage.

And remember, the war we fight IS IN OUR MINDS.  The devil has no body… he uses our minds against us!  So tell that demon of FEAR to GO IN JESUS’ NAME!  You don’t want him, you don’t need him, and he will no longer mess with your mind.  Today starts a NEW YOU!  Now get out there and do what the Lord wants you to do, and worry not about others being offended!

January 14, 2012 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

GOD REACHES OUT TO EVERYONE, AND THE SIN OF OMISSION…

I know it’s been awhile since my last post.  I only post when the Lord puts something on my heart to write.  And so a couple of things have come up recently, again and again, urging me to talk about it. The point of topic for the first half of this post is concerning:

THE SIN OF OMISSION 

I’ve had several occasions come up where people were watching others do something they know is wrong but saying nothing, and in some instances, even going along with it.  Every time this came up, I was reminded that the Lord does not like someone watching another do wrong, and making no effort to speak up or try to stop it, or worse.. actually going along with it!  This is commonly referred to as “The Sin of Omission.”  Regardless of whether YOUR actions are defined as sin, they become sin for you because you didn’t do what was RIGHT.

“If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”  ~James  4:17 (NIV)

“If anyone sins because they do not speak up when they hear a public charge to testify regarding something they have seen or learned about, they will be held responsible.”  ~Leviticus 5:1  (NIV)

It is clear, then, if you go along with someone in their sin, you have sinned as well.  For example, if you know of someone who robbed a bank and you do not report them to the police, or if you participate in hiding them or spending the money they’ve stolen, then it is the same as if you robbed the bank also.  You too are guilty of the sin for not telling them they are wrong for stealing, for not reporting it to authorities and for going along with it.

I’ve seen some blogs that say you’re not supposed to speak up and tell people they are wrong because you then would be ‘judging’ them.  WRONG.  Jesus pointed out bad behaviors ALL the time.  He didn’t judge them… he tried to correct them in their evil ways and turn them toward God.  This is similar to how I treat my kids.  I’m not ‘judging’ them when I see them doing something wrong, but I will point out the bad behavior and institute punishment if necessary.  Judging someone and offering corrective instruction are two VERY different things.

JUDGING               INSTRUCTION

It’s interesting that some people get stuck on the 10 Commandments as the ONLY sins.  If they just read their Bible, they would see that doing the right thing is godly and ANY TIME you do the wrong thing, it is ungodly and therefore, a sin.  I do believe that most ungodly people are always looking for justifications for their actions.  As long as they can justify in their minds, or to others, why they sinned, they will live guilt-free.  I’ve even seen some that purposefully find others who agree with their sinful justifications and get those people to also go along with them to FURTHER the justification.  The problem with that is that God SEES everything you do and, I promise you, He’s NOT buying your bullshit justifications.  One day you WILL stand before Him and will see clearly all the sin you have committed.  So it just astounds me that anyone can live that way knowing what they do is wrong.  I don’t know… I guess I was just raised better than that.

GOD REACHES OUT TO EVERY PERSON ON EARTH

I was raised in a family that celebrated Easter and Christmas but we were not taught anything about Christianity, or any religion for that matter.  I would hear talk of God and Jesus and I would ask questions.  My parents would politely respond but they didn’t go into any great detail because, frankly, they didn’t know themselves.  The only thing I knew for certain was that my father thought it was all nonsense, and my mother had stopped believing in God when she was a small child and her grandmother died.  She prayed for her to live but she didn’t, and then she blamed God for taking her grandmother away.  So even though I didn’t know much of anything, I still started praying to God.  I don’t remember when it started but I was doing it nearly every night by the time I was 10 or 11 years old.  I had questions who no answers, so I talked to God about them.  By the age of 12, I was being bullied at school and relied heavily on God to get me through it.  I came out of it changed and a much stronger person, thanks to the Lord!  He was there to help me, where my parent’s failed me.

The point to all that is this;  I didn’t have to be ‘taught’ about God or Jesus.  The Holy Spirit inside me was guiding me to Him!  God reaches out to EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the face of the earth.  Some refer to it as ‘the still, small voice’ and the ungodly dismiss it as their own conscience, their own thoughts. (There is a difference and if you develop a relationship with the Lord, you will know the difference!)

In Romans 1:18-32, Paul is speaking to the gentiles about God and sin, and he is clear that everyone on the earth KNOWS God.  In my own experience, that is very true considering the fact I was taught nothing about Christianity but even as a small child, I FELT GOD’s presence inside me!  There is no other explanation for it.  What Paul says is true!  Here is an excerpt, but I encourage you all to open your Bibles and read it in its entirety:

“The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.  For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”   ~Romans 1:18-20

If someone tells me that they are not Christian and they don’t know God, or that they only believe in [insert false gods here], I know one thing for certain:  they have turned their backs on the Lord.  The Holy Spirit is inside everyone, trying to get a message through.  You can CHOOSE to listen or ignore it but the Bible is clear:  PEOPLE ARE WITHOUT EXCUSE.  Come judgement day, you will NOT be able to tell God that ‘you didn’t know’ or that He ‘never showed Himself to you’, or some other such nonsense.  At that time, it will be too late for you.

December 10, 2011 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions, My True Experiences | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Our Spiritual Battle…

In this post, I’d like to talk about demons and our spiritual battle.  First, I realize it’s difficult for some people to grasp the concept of ‘demons’.   I think the majority of Christians would say they believe demons are real, but with them being Christians, they would say that demons aren’t really something they have to worry about.  In other words, I know some Christians who believe that demons are real but they only can wreak havoc in ‘less Christian’ places, or on non-Christian people.  There is absolutely zero scripture to back that up, so it is utterly amazing to me why they would think this way.  All I can say is that this way of thinking is wrong and yet another lie from devil.  Revelations tells us:

“And there was a war in Heaven.  Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back.  But he was not strong enough and they lost their place in Heaven.  The great dragon was hurled down – that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray.  He was hurled to the earth and his angels with him.”  – Revelations 12:7-9 (NIV)

It says, quite clearly, he ‘leads the whole world astray.’  The language used here indicates that he is actively leading the whole world astray RIGHT NOW.  It does not say ‘he lead’, as in past tense, but that ‘he leads’, meaning he continues to do it.  And, more importantly, ‘he leads the WHOLE WORLD astray’, not just some people but ALL people, and not just in some places, but in ALL places!

One more thing I’d like to say before we continue.  Revelations 12:4 is where it mentions that the dragons tail swept one-third of the stars from the sky and flung them to the earth.  Some people say that means that one-third of Heaven fell, that one-third of the angels fell with Lucifer to the earth.  But that scripture comes BEFORE it speaks of the war in Heaven and BEFORE the dragon and his angels were hurled down to earth.  In actuality, we have NO IDEA how many angels fell with Lucifer.  I don’t believe it was one-third because the scripture does NOT back that up.  I don’t really know what the significance was to the devil sweeping his big tail in the sky and flinging one-third of the stars to the earth.  I cannot say what that means exactly.  But what I DO KNOW is that Revelations 12:9 clearly says ‘he was hurled down and his angels with him’.  Meaning it was God or Michael and his Angels who did the hurling, and that act came AFTER the tail-sweeping by the serpent.

So what we DO know is that the devil IS on earth and his angels (demons) are with him.  How many doesn’t really matter.  It could be 100 or 1,000,000 and it still wouldn’t matter.  Their entire existence now is to deceive mankind and lead us ALL astray.  They don’t sleep;  they don’t eat;  they don’t watch television;  they don’t all clock out and have demon get-togethers in their off time because there is none.  They don’t do anything except look for inroads into our lives for the purpose of deceiving us and leading us astray….leading us AWAY FROM THE LORD.  Simple as that.

The other thing that people need to be aware of concerning demons is that they are NOT the big, scary monsters horror movies have all deceived us into believing they are.  If a demon could enter your body and take over anytime he wanted, they would do it ALL the time!  But demons cannot take over our bodies and make us wreak havoc AGAINST OUR WILL.  They MUST have our permission!  They can’t do anything that you don’t allow them to do through SIN or UNBELIEF.  They HATE mankind.  If they could pick up a rock and crush your skull, they would.  If they could set fire to the entire world and destroy it today, they would.  They don’t do it because they don’t have the power to do it.  They have ONLY the power that mankind gives them.  When you sin, you open doors to the demons which allows them into your life and thus, they are able to get to you easier.  Keeping those doors closed by worshipping and praising God are the simplest ways to keep evil from gaining a foothold in your life!  But if you commit sins everyday, you’re going to have your work cut out for you and will suffer losses until sin is removed from your life.

The same way that God uses people, the devil does as well.  In the Old Testament, when God needed to deliver a message, he sent an angel.  It was apparently pretty common for angels to be out and about delivering messages.  But after Jesus’ death and resurrection, we now live under a new covenant with God.  So now if someone on earth is needed to help you, God sends a person.  The same way that God uses people to help one another, so does the devil.  If the devil wants to get to you, he MUST use a person.  He doesn’t have the power, so instead, he will deceive a person or people to carry out his evil plan.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m NOT saying that all these people are ‘possessed’ in the way the horror movies have explained it to you.  (I will speak about true possession in a future post.)  But if you are NOT living a godly life, if you are NOT born-again, if you have no relationship with our Lord and Savior, etc…..then you are open to any and every evil work the devil will have you do.   The devil will deceive you into believing all kinds of evil things are actually good, until you no longer know the difference.  And while the devil WILL USE you, that does not absolve you of your responsibility.  You cannot blame the devil.  You have only yourself to blame for nothing following the WORD of GOD.

I just cannot stress enough that the demons have zero power on earth.  The only power they have is what WE give them.  If they could do all those things we see them do in horror movies, they’d be doing them every second of every day.  The war they wage, and the only weapon they have, is DECEPTION.  That means that the war takes place IN YOUR MIND.  Deception takes place on an intellectual level.  If someone lies to you and you believe the lie, you’ve been deceived.  They didn’t hit you or do anything else PHYSICAL to you.  What they did to you took place in your mind.  The devil’s ONLY weapon is deception.  But when you know the TRUTH and are no longer being deceived, the truth will set you free.

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32 (NIV)

I once thought I knew so much about life.  I have had so many varying experiences in my lifetime and gained so much knowledge, I really thought I had it all figured out.  Well, until I became born-again.  Looking back, I am filled with awe of just how much I was deceived.  And to this day, I am still learning and finding new things… finding the truth.  If you want the truth too, all you have to do is ASK GOD for WISDOM and REVELATION KNOWLEDGE about whatever is on your mind.  I quoted this passage and asked Him and He answered me immediately.  You have to just ask and He will answer you too!

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”  Matthew 7:7  (KJB)

In closing, please remember that we are all in a SPIRITUAL BATTLE every day of our lives!  I will have more examples of this in future posts.  Keep praying, commune with God, and pray in tongues (and if you don’t have tongues yet, ASK HIM for them!)   And most important, in my opinion, PRAISE and WORSHIP HIM OFTEN!  Protect yourself and your family by keeping strife and sin out of your lives.   These are inroads for the devil and I promise you… you want as few roads in as you can get! PRAISE and WORSHIP are wonderful ways to keep the devil away.  The devil cannot be in the presence of praise to God.  I prefer singing and even made up my own song that I can sing over and over, while in the car or housecleaning or whatever.  But no matter how you praise, if you are praising God, I promise, the devil won’t be anywhere near you!

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”  James 4:7  (KJB)

October 27, 2011 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Politics and Religion… Hypocrisy and Integrity

My grandfather used to say “don’t talk about religion or politics unless you WANT to start a fight with somebody.” I talk about religion all the time and my husband talks politics all the time, so I guess we’ve got the taboo topics well covered. You already know we are Christian, the title of the blog gives that away, but we are also Conservative. You might think the title gives that away too, but you can’t be really be sure.  I’ll talk more about that later…

I have, for years now, seen my husband talking in political forums on the Internet, and fighting with others about his political beliefs. I also have been telling him, for years, that it’s a waste of his time. All it does is get him worked up, angry and upset, over nothing. He hasn’t ‘converted’ anyone to his way of thinking. Everyone just fights and tries to get others to change to his/her point of view, and none do. All he did was hurt himself by letting the devil get under his skin to the point of anger.

One day recently, I was just standing in the kitchen and he had just commented on someone’s post in the forum, and I was suddenly hit with the truth. I said, “the Lord just informed me that you are wasting your time because it’s not really about politics, it’s really about religion.”  The Lord basically said that if you can bring someone to Jesus, thus changing their religious views, then their politics will change too.  He wanted me to remind my husband, yet again, that his time is better spent talking about the Lord with others, than talking about their politics.  And it makes perfect sense considering you’d be hard-pressed to find an atheist or buddhist, etc. that has a Conservative way of thinking because they are not Christian.

Now, before a bunch of you start writing me and proving me wrong, I admit that everything has variables. There are always some that ‘don’t fit the mold’ and I acknowledge that. BUT… and this is a BIG BUT… Hypocrisy plays a huge role here as well. Let me explain…

I know some people who claim to be Christian and also say they are Democrats. Sounds like they ‘don’t fit the mold’ of the Conservative Christian,right?  Well, that is, until you go deeper and find out that they rarely attend church, they don’t talk about the Bible at home or even read it. And if you ask them questions about the Bible, you’ll find they don’t really know it at all, and couldn’t tell you the last time they actually sat down to read it! I was raised ‘Christian’ but I knew less than 1% of what the Bible was actually about, we never went to church, never talked about the Lord at home, etc. Some say just believing in Jesus and God makes you a Christian, but I say, No.. it really doesn’t. So now those ‘Christian Democrats’ I just mentioned, don’t appear very Christian at all. If you aren’t ‘practicing’, then what are you really? Can I just ‘say’ I am a Christian and be one without doing anything else? Nope. I can ‘say’ I am a man but if I’m sitting here, a woman just like God made me, then I am NOT a man at all. Just SAYING something doesn’t make it so;  Your ACTIONS have to back it up. Just like those that say they are on the side of a certain political party, but they never vote. Can I just say I am a Conservative, but I never vote in any elections or share my Conservative opinions with others? I don’t think so. If you are not actively participating in your chosen Religion or Political party, then what are you really?

Got Hypocrisy?

Answer:  a HYPOCRITE. The more I think on it, the more I think Jesus would say these types of people fall into the category of hypocrite because they are not practicing what they preach. The very definition of hypocrisy tells us that it is a DECEPTION or LIE.  And in Matthew 23, we see several examples of what Jesus thought of hypocrites:

Matthew 23:13 – “But woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves, neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in.”

Matthew 23:14 – “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows’ houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.”

Matthew 23:23 – “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.”

Matthew 23:27 – “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness.”

Jesus, clearly and plainly, pointed out to them the many ways they were hypocrites, and in the process, showed us all the EVIL of it. These are also clear examples of a lack of INTEGRITY. If one is a constant flip-flopper on your morals, ideals, opinions, etc. then they lack integrity. If you’ve been reading your BIBLE, you know then that integrity is spoken of often as being something that is GODLY:

Proverbs 11:3 “The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.”

Proverbs 20:7  “The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.”

Proverbs 19:1 “Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.”

The true point I am trying to make is that even some people who claim to be Christian are not really Christian.  You have to talk about the Lord, read your Bible, speak with others about the Lord, have an intimate relationship with the Lord, and do godly things to be a true Christian.  Just saying you are one and doing nothing else but praying once in awhile, does not make you a true Christian.  It does, however, make you a hypocrite.

The same is to be said of politics.  If you say you are for a certain political party but you never vote, do not speak to others about your opinions, and just basically don’t get involved at all, then what are you really?  Your actions have to back up your beliefs or you are nothing more than a hypocrite.

What the Lord was telling me, in essence, is that true Christians don’t have to be convinced to be for any certain political party.  Once they are brought into a true intimate relationship with the Lord and true godly living… they will change their political thinking automatically.

September 17, 2011 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Blame, Aspergers, Bullying and Being a Messenger…

Another blog recently talked about blame and it inspired me to write about it too. I understand always being the one accused and the one blamed. This was a common theme during my childhood. But I knew in my spirit I was not to blame, or at the very least, not ALL the blame. The first defense mechanism MOST people employ when faced with trouble is ‘it’s not my fault’. The second defense is to look for a scapegoat, someone they can force blame on. My mother laid ALL blame for everything on me, and still does to this day. She treated me bad as a child because she said “I made her angry, and I made her act like that” so it was my fault. She accepts NO blame whatsoever, and after four decades of strife with her, I am finally happy with her gone from my life. And if you’ve read my previous blogs, you know that I’ve tried many times to talk with her, but then she employs defense mechanism number three… continue to deny, while playing the victim. But I digress…

I found out when I was 40 years old that I have Asperger Syndrome. When I realized it to be true, I cried like a baby. It explained EVERYTHING about my childhood… all my awkwardness, why I was bullied and socially inept. My husband and one of his children both have it too. I think another Asperger is the only one that could really live with me the rest of my life. During my first marriage, I didn’t know about it so I’m sure my x-husband thought me insane. He used to call me ‘weird’ (not in a nice way, one reason we are divorced) and that about sums me up… weird. When I was bullied as a kid, I had no one to talk to. I was afraid to tell my mom for fear that she would blame me for the bullying. So at age 12, I started standing up to the bullies and they backed down. I was prepared for a fight to the death! I was so afraid and truly believed these kids wanted me dead. When I saw them all run away and just stop all of it, as soon as I stood up for myself, it opened my eyes to the truth. They were bluffing! I was the strong one, I was the smart one and they were weak and pathetic. No one ever bullied me again after that.

Courage
This experience did other things for me. For example: it gave me profound COURAGE. I literally could do anything I set my mind to after that, and still can to this day. I can say anything to anyone, without any care how they will react. As an adult, my bosses have always hated this about me. LOL I will, respectfully and professionally, ask questions no one else dare ask. Some find it refreshing and others have hated it. Another thing the bullying experience did was leave me not caring what people think of me. The bullies said all kinds of things about me that weren’t true and hated me for ridiculous reasons. Some things they said were out and out lies. I tried to reason with them by attempting to prove what they said was wrong. I soon realized they didn’t care… they were going to bully me regardless. They simply HATED me and that was that. It was then that I grew to not care what others thought of me. They could say anything to me and I would dismiss them. When they saw they couldn’t get to me with words anymore, they tried hitting me. When I started hitting back, they gave up altogether.

Don't Care
The point is that to this very day, I could care less what anyone thinks of me. No ones approval is desired nor required of me. I find it wonderfully refreshing when someone likes me for me. When I cannot be myself with them, or have to ‘keep up appearances’ by acting one way, while actually feeling another, I have no respect for them and they won’t last long in my life. If I cannot be truly 100% honest with someone, I can’t have them in my life. One note here… I’m not talking about being MEAN to people. I’m talking about telling the truth ALL the time. I’m talking about standing up for injustices, standing up for those who cannot defend themselves, and if a friend is out of line, be able to tell them that without them acting all offended, and saying I’m mean, I’m wrong and must apologize. If you need me to be someone who keeps your dirty, ungodly secrets.. someone who acts like your ungodly behavior is okay and/or participate in it with you, that’s NOT a true friend and I won’t have you in my life. My husband often says that my words are mean. The truth is hurtful to MOST people, so I don’t doubt that. And YES, MOST people are not used to anyone being truthful with them, so they feel like they’ve been slapped in the face. The important thing to point out here is that ‘keeping up appearances’, not being truthful with people, being phony… these are ALL lies and manipulations… EVIL behavior. BLAMING others for your own shortcomings is EVIL behavior as well. The devil would have you believe that everyone is supposed to be ‘nice’ to you. That is a lie and deceit of the devil to keep you in the dark to the TRUTH. The sooner people start seeing that, the sooner they will accept truth above all else.

Self-Esteem
That all brings me to another reason how the bullying experience changed me for the better: confidence and self-esteem. People have told me OFTEN all my adult life, that I am intimidating. Now the definition of intimidating would lead one to believe that it is intentional. But my intimidation is not. They are intimidated by my strong self-esteem and confidence. I didn’t know anyone felt this way about me, until a friend pointed it out in my 30s! Some people won’t question a doctor or lawyer because of their knowledge or power or wealth.. whatever the reason, they are intimidated by them. But I see all people on the same level. I look at a lawyer as being just like me, so I can be comfortable and ask questions without feeling intimidated. As I write this, I realize that I can’t think of one person that intimidates ME. Wow! Because I have ZERO FEAR about what people will think of my words and actions, I am actually FREE to say the things others won’t say and do the things no one else will do.

The title of this blog appears as though each thing is unrelated, however, they are all connected. Aspergers doesn’t go away. It is the base of my personality. Through having Aspergers, I have grown into the woman I am today. Without Aspergers, I may never have been bullied. And that would be a shame since the bullies actually got me to emerge from my shell to grow further into the person I am today. My loved ones and bullies blaming me all my life for THEIR bad behavior taught me that MOST people commit evil acts every day and blame others for it. All of these things have had a profound effect on me and brings me to my next point: being a ‘messenger’.
Angel Messenger
When I finally got fed up with people acting bad, doing bad things, I learned to stand up for myself. Now at age 43, I’m known as the ‘bitch’ because I don’t let people get away with anything. They make a nasty remark, I call them on it… they try to blame others for their own shortcomings, I call them on it. A friend said this to me recently, and I actually agreed with him… “you’re not A bitch.. you’re THE bitch.” I say the things that nobody else will say, and I am enemy No. 1 when I do. People do not like to be told that their bad behavior is WRONG or EVIL. They also turn that around on me. I’m a nag or bitch, they say, or they play the victim, again putting blame on me for ‘saying something hurtful to them’. I feel that God’s destiny for me involves being a messenger. He has chosen me because I don’t care what people think. God knows I can say anything and get the job done regardless of their response.

Just in case I lost anyone, let’s put that in perspective first. In the Old Testament of the Bible, God used Angels as messengers. When God needed to send a message and help someone, he sent an angel. After Jesus’ death, a new covenant began and it doesn’t work that way any longer. God uses people now. If you pray for money to pay bills, an angel doesn’t appear and point you to the help or drop money in your lap. Instead, God sends a person to help you. And if God wanted to get a message to you, he would send a person to do that too. I feel in my spirit that all these events in my life have come together to teach me to be a good messenger. I’m still working on it. I still, sometimes, don’t use words that people like or my tone will be wrong (especially when I see something appalling.. my tone can be quite bad lol). That’s when people tend to ‘shoot the messenger’. But, other things are happening too. I’m starting to discern more than I ever have. I can actually feel God preparing me for what’s next. The changes inside me are so profound that it’s really that clear what is happening. I’ve always been ‘intuitive’ and just knew things about people from just shaking their hand or even just standing next to them. But God is taking this to a whole new level. The things I’m feeling are beyond words… wonderful. I can’t wait to see where God takes me now.

When I call someone on their bad behavior, they can dismiss me all they want. Because, there is one thing I know in my heart to be true; In the still moments of the day, the Holy Spirit will reach out to them and put what I said on their hearts, in the hopes that they will SEE the truth and want to do better. They can continue to dismiss and turn that away, or they will SEE and reach out to God for help. But someone had to first deliver the message to get that ball rolling. It just might have been me.

August 14, 2011 Posted by | My True Experiences | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Iniquities, Forgiveness and Punishment…

I’ve wanted to blog about iniquities for some time. I’ve seen them in my family members and, unfortunately, I recognize them in myself having been handed down from my parents. The Bible is very clear that iniquities (sins) are passed down to your children, going even in the third and fourth generations.

“Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation.” (EXODUS 34:7)

My mother’s father was a very mean man, according to her and her siblings. It was as though he blamed the children for the reason he had to go off to work every morning. He didn’t act as though he wanted the children around. My mother says that he came home from the war a changed man. He was in Normandy on D-Day, although the beach was firmly secured by the time he arrived, I’m certain he witnessed enough to impact him greatly. However, I don’t agree that his treatment of family was related to being ‘changed by the war’. I believe that was an iniquity my grandfather received from his parents. Your views of children come DIRECTLY from your parents and how they treated you.

Both my parents are prone to quick anger, and I strive to keep that in check in myself. It is clear I have that iniquity from them. My mother never bonded with me. I was an Asperger child and didn’t like to be held much. My mother took that as an insult, as if a 1 or 2 year could insult anyone! And of course, Asperger’s was not officially accepted until the 1990s so no one knew when I was kid. The doctors told my mother I was healthy and just had a discipline problem. She then proceeded to treat me just like her father had treated her… as if I were a bad kid. Everything I did, whether good or bad, I got yelled at or worse, ignored. She still denies that to this day. She has never apologized once for anything she’s done wrong.. ever. Not to anyone in the family. My sister has even said that before. And I have tried to talk with my mother on several occasions about it. Instead of listening to what I say, she turns the entire conversation around so that she is the victim. She says, ‘how dare you say these things to me!’ and how I ‘hurt her by saying those things.’ She never actually addresses what I said, she just avoids, plays the victim, and then I am the bad guy. She then pulls my father into it and looks at him and says, ‘did you hear what she said to me?!’ Now Dad is caught between us and ends up backing up my mother, who should have never pulled him into it to begin with. I am sad to say that I have had to eliminate both of them from my life altogether. I cannot get past the hurt and the fact that they refuse to listen. I have forgiven them as the Lord wants me to. I still miss my father a lot, but I can no longer let them into my life to continue to hurt me over and over again. I have forgiven them, but I will never forget.

So the subject of iniquities now brings me to punishment. Even if you ask for forgiveness from God, you will still be punished. You are still guilty as stated in Exodus 34:7. Much like how children screw up and whether intentional or not, we still punish them. God works in that way too! This is even a common theme in the Bible. Let’s take Jonah as an example. He defied God by not going to Ninevah and then later found himself stuck in the stomach of a huge fish! He finally realizes the error of his ways but still had to spend 3 days in that fish, until he was turned white from the stomach acid and very, extremely fishy-stinky! Then that nasty fish vomited him up on shore. Now, God forgave him as soon as he realized he was wrong, but He did not rescue him from the fish! Jonah’s punishment, I believe, was to be stuck in that nasty fish and then vomited up later. A pretty bad punishment, in my opinion, for disobeying God! But the point is very clear. God forgives but the punishment still stands.

I am having some trouble on finishing up this blog! But I will end by saying that you CAN ask God for forgiveness of your sins, bear in mind that you will still have to pay for them. But repentance is important! Be sure to pray that the iniquities you inherited from family also be forgiven! Pray to have your children forgiven from them as well. I believe that God can remove the iniquities from your heart, but you do have to look to him to do it!

August 4, 2011 Posted by | My True Experiences | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Devil Wants Your Children…

I grew up in the 70s and 80s. We had not lived through wars as our parents and grandparents had. It was a prosperous time, where spending money on unnecessary items was socially expected, if not required, of you. The ‘free-love’ generation was behind us and sex before marriage was largely acceptable, homosexuals were coming out, and drugs were an accepted type of ‘fun’. The women’s movement was also behind us and women were now ‘expected’ to work. During the 80s, the stay-at-home mom’s were looked down upon, and it was expected that you would have a career. Today, stay-at-home moms are now revered for their ‘sacrifice’ of raising children instead of having a career (what a huge deception on the devils’ part!) When I think about how different life was 50 years ago, I see that we have indeed come so far… but instead of getting ahead, we’ve actually gone far off track.
prayer
In 1962, the devil successfully got prayer thrown out of schools, and almost immediately the shit started to hit the fan. As David Barton talks about in his book “America, To Pray? Or not to Pray?”, after prayer was removed from schools, there was a rise every year of teenage pregnancies to unwed mothers, alcohol consumption, pre-martial sex, violent crime.. and the list goes on. The late 60s saw the movement of free-love and feminism, and the start of recreational drug use. The serpent had once again tricked the females into thinking that sinning was the right thing to do.

As I grew up in the 70s and 80s, I unfortunately didn’t have a Christian upbringing. So when I was told not to do something, there was no scripture to back it up. I was led to believe that it was just my parents’ rules. I know now that obeying your parents is actually something that God wants you to do! (“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Colossians 3:20) Instead, I learned about individuality and that if I didn’t subscribe to ‘their’ rules, I could make my own because I was simply different than them. As I got older, I had learned over the course of time what the Bible said about certain things that were sins. But all around me were people that lived much differently than what I was told the Bible said. Some of it came from television and movies too, but the people that were friends of my family and even my friend’s families lived that way. Partying on the weekends was okay, pre-marital sex was okay… I had zero role models for true Godly living!

Now it’s 2011 and not much has changed. In fact, it’s getting worse. The devil has learned that if he gets your children at an early age, he’ll have them for years, if not for their entire lives. He knows that since kids are subjected to, and give in to, peer pressure that there’s a good chance they will take their ideas and spread them like disease through their entire school or neighborhood. He knows this because he KNEW that prayer was working. Think about it… every day in schools across the entire country, millions of children each day were praising God. The devil saw the blessings it was having upon this country, and once he put a stop to it, he knew to replace it with his own disease to have the opposite effect. As I said in a previous blog, he is REALLY good at what he does.

Another great deception the devil has put on us regarding our children is the idea that we need to ‘let children be children’. I’ve even heard parents say they want their child to get to ‘be a kid for as long as he can.’ This type of thinking is exactly why I believe that childhood is extending well into the 20s now. Why? Because you simply cannot let your kids PLAY for literally years, and expect them to be adults and work-minded upon their 18th birthday. I know a 21 year old who just got his first job after playing video games in the 3+ years since high school ended. I’m sure some of you reading this know a few adult-kids as well! The one thing my parents knew was that hard work was required to earn a living. They promptly had me get a job as soon as I turned 16. Something very few parents actually ‘require’ of their children these days!
farm
If you go back about a hundred years, not everyone even went to school. A lot had to help their fathers with his work or their mothers with her work. I’m sure that without televisions and video games, they still had a lot of playtime mixed in. But the point is that from an early age, they were taught that work was a necessary part of life. My grandmother grew up on a farm, and hard work is her middle name even at age 90! She and her sisters had to help run the family farm when they were younger. They also went off to school around age 13. My grandmother says they had to take the train to the closest town, stay in a boarding house for young girls during the week, and then take the train home on the weekends to help with the farm. If you ask her, she didn’t ‘miss out’ on childhood! In fact, she can tell you stories about the great fun they had on the farm when they weren’t working. The misconception that kids need to play to be kids, and not have to work, is a lie and deception from the devil, plain and simple.

The one thing that needs to happen to make some big changes is for Christians to actually read their Bibles! I know a lot of Christians that have no relationship with God, never pick up their Bible. When they say and do things they believe are Godly, and you ask them why they do and say those things, the only answer they have is ‘I’ve always done it that way’. They can give NO basis for it… cannot quote scripture to back it up. They can only act like a parrot repeating something someone else told them, who was repeating it from someone else, and so on! If you are not reading the Word, if you are not talking to God, having an intimate relationship with Him, and being thankful to Him, then you are absolutely not a true Christian! If you are not doing it, then HOW do you expect to teach your children properly?! How easy it is for them to be taken over by the devil for any evil work he would have them do.

Do you want to understand your God-given authority? Do you really understand what Jesus’ death meant for you? Do you know that life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21), and what that truly means? It’s never too late to learn the truth! I am a huge follower of Andrew Wommack. People either love him or hate him for the things he says. I happen to be on the love side. If you are lost in your Christianity, check out some of Andrews’ videos. They are FREE on his website. Andrew Wommack Ministries.

July 24, 2011 Posted by | My Thoughts and Opinions | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment